The basics: why do we care
Here are a few simple steps to gain financial independence that are touted by the personal finance community:
But there is one big glaring hole in most of these plans: assessing the value you get from the things you spend money on.
So right into between steps 1 and 2, that's where we are going to insert today's exercise:
Because looking at how much you spent eating out last month and stating a goal of "I will spend less money eating out” is ineffective if there is no trigger for a behavior change. The trigger for behavior changes is understanding why you like eating out in the first place.
No guilt, no shame
These examples also work when talking about spending with yourself: if you tell yourself "I need to stop spending frivolously" then it has the same effect as the first option.
The first scenario feels ick. It's about you and your mistakes. These types of conversations are so common and can trigger feelings of shame or guilt. While a bit of guilt can be effective (usually specific to a particular action in the past), shame can cause intense feelings of low self worth which can cause further financial (and relationship) distress.
* This example was inspired by Kevin's story in the ChooseFI Podcast episode 22R, from minute 38:55 to 42:15.
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Unfinished human, currently v.5.0. Expecting at least 10 more versions. Aspiring adult.